yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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