Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
