when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
