i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
