please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
