I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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