i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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