Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
