I think i peed on brittanys purse
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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