i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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