I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
