i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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