I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize