i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize