I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
