his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The Olympian is in my bed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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