How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
