I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
