I skipped work to stalk him.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
