tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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