I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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