24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
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