yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
