The maid of honor just puked.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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