I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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