Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
