Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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