Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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