I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
