so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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