I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
