I have demons in me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
