He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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