The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
