Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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