I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
