i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i drank out of a bidet.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
