Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
