Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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