she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
