hotel room ftw
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
