Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
