I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
