just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
