Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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