I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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