Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
don't judge my taste in strippers
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
