I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
