I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
