Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do vagina's smell?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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