I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
