idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
