i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just want to make out with him forever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
