You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I supernannyed him into submission
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
