come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
