I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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