This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
a victory without nudity is not really a victory