he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my shit smells like andre
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
