we have pet lesbian snakes
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".