Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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