I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
